My Attempt to Adult after IFB Cult Life

You may find this blog somewhat chaotic and in no particular timeline. I process through writing, so whatever is going on that day, will be my inspiration. I am also on the Autism Spectrum which means my brain works and perceives things differently. You are welcome to ask questions and when possible, I will post your questions with my personal answer.

In the IFB Cult, pride is a sin. Anything you excel at is because of God and all the praise is his. You are just an empty vessel that God fills. This belief leaves no room for self esteem or individuality and often leads to indecision, fear of believing in yourself, fear that God will take away a talent that you enjoy and excel at. For myself, this belief limited me and the talents I loved.

I love to learn. I love to work on projects that I enjoy. I love helping others. I did my very best to not take any pride in these things. I knew I was smart and I did my best to be happy but not prideful. I graduated from a Christian School with straight A’s. I graduated from a Christian College with a double major with straight A’s. I taught in a private school focusing on children with different learning abilities.

I had a fellow teacher encourage me to take a real IQ test and I scored a 172. This was hard not to be proud of. I did my best not to, but it was always there in the back of my mind.

I started my deconstruction at the age of 44, after 39 years of being in the IFB cult. The first few years were not pretty at all and I will share these stories later. I recently turned 50 and I thought it would be awesome to go back to college and study something I love to do. This is where I got hit with some hard, cold facts that left me in tears. My high school diploma and my college degree is not considered valid. After a few months of devastation, I enrolled in my local GED classes and will be earning my GED in about 2 months. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. I felt angry and robbed. The what ifs and the whys overwhelmed me and I had to choose between drowning in what wasn’t and use that to drive me to find out what could be.

If this resonates with you, please share your experience in the comments.

Remember, every day is a brand new day. A day where everyone has a chance to be kind, loving, caring, and accepting. If nothing else, we can be the ones to show the world how to make the biggest comeback of your life.